Cheap Thrills

  I finished off the last of the peanut butter and saved the jar to give to the dogs.  The result was priceless!  Conker said, "We don't need no stinkin Kong!"  Kindof makes me think back to the days when Adam and I were little and my mom would wash out her empty Windex bottles and give them to us as squirt guns . . . aaah memories.

But the video of Gumbo was the best:



Conker and the PB Jar



Gumbo's tongue is just ridiculously long!



Chiquita REALLY got into it!

 



Fill 'Er Up

  I loooove going to places where you get to fill up your own drink.  I fully admit that I am one of those annoying people who makes their very own special drink concoctions at the soda fountain.  Little bit of this, little of that, sip . . . little more of that, sip: perfection.  I've found that the best concoctions always include a healthy dose of Root Beer and just a pinch of fruit punch.  This is why Jamie refuses to stand by me when we go to fill up our cups.  I think it embarrasses him.  He once told me that was something a five-year old would do.  I thought about it a minute and said, "Well, that's just silly.  I mean can a five-year old even reach the soda fountain?"  This is also the reason he stoutly refuses to allow me to refill his drink.  I usually try to sneak a squirt of something else in his Mountain Dew just to 'enhance' the flavor, and ya know to see if I can get away with it, so far not yet.  Don't judge me, I'm poor I gotta my kicks in where I can. :)

Keepin it Classy

   Woke up this morning with a crick in my neck.  I guess I just slept on it wrong.  I had job interview today (yay), but I'm fairly certain I didn't get the position (boo).  I was the fourteenth candidate that they had interviewed!  I digress.  On the two hour drive to my interview I could feel the tightness escalating in the right side of my neck and shoulder.  I tried massaging it and stretching it to no avail, so by the time I was on the drive back my neck felt like it was in full 'riggor.'  Don't you just hate that?  Makes the simplest things difficult.  Just checking my blind spot to change lanes turns into a whole body experience.  Because instead of just being able to turn my head and the neck, I now have to turn at the torso.  I have to say I'm sure it adds a creepy vibe for that person driving in the lane next to me . . . And just FYI pulling a U-turn apparently takes a great deal of neck maneuverability - trust me, I know.   Of course, I didn't realize this til I was already committed to the turn and ouch.  I made the most awkward and jerky U-turn in history today in the middle of Wade Hampton Avenue.  Kinda glad I don't live there.    
   When I got home after my hard day of not bringing in a paycheck, I asked Jamie to return to the market for a bottle of red wine (is he a catch or what?).  Here I am sitting on the couch Indian style in mismatched pajamas, blogging with a heating pad wrapped around my neck, drinking my coveted red wine.  (I know I paint a sexy picture, what can I say?)  And I'm not gonna lie, it hurts my neck/shoulder to even bring the glass up to drink. (insert pitiful whimper here)  Sooo, I'm thinking of how practical it would be to get a straw . . . or a sippy cup perhaps . . . no, I think a straw would work better.  Yeah, cuz we like to keep it classy here.  I would NEVER suggest this otherwise, but desperate times call for desperate measures . . .

Primed and Ready

   Over the course of the last year or so I have painted just about everything.  I've painted every room in my house (some of them twice . . . in fact, most of them twice).  I've painted furniture, appliances, a couple of paintings, and even my shower curtain rings.  What can I say?  I get bored.  So, this last week I embarked on my latest whim: painting my bedroom furniture.  The nightstand especially needed to be painted.  It went perfectly in my old bedroom that was lime green on the bottom and even limier green on the top.  (But apparently lime green walls are a turnoff to the vanilla people who have money to purchase a house, so I had to paint it neutral: as in beige as in blah.)  After that was completed my charming little nightstand stuck out like a sore thumb. 
   Previously, some brilliant aspiring artisan (who may or may not read this very blog . . . :) ) had painted the nightstand white w/ green accents and purple flowers.  But alas I finally decided it was time to paint it to blend in with it's surroundings better, hopefully help sell my house, and b/c, quite frankly, I've painted everything else.  So, I emptied the nightstand and dragged in out into the TV room onto a sheet in front of the television.  This way I could sand AND watch football: shizzam! 

Before.

   I sanded it down, and then a couple of days later I primed it.  I did the body first in a basic, white, fast-dry, water based primer (one that I've had in my garage for years and I use to prime everything).  I had just finished painting the drawer when Jamie popped in to check on my progress and give me some words of encouragement.  So, he was standing right there when it happened.  (As if I needed a witness to my crazy.)  Having painted all sides of the drawer I was balancing it on two fingers judging just how I was going to set it up to dry, when I lost control.  It started to lean precariously to the left, so I quickly over compensated pushing it to the right.  There I was bobbling this wet nightstand drawer like a hot potatoe.  Wet nightstand in front of me and a cardboard box by my foot, all sitting on top of a drop cloth spread out a yard around me on all sides . . . but noooooo I fumble the drawer end over end away from all of those safe places and it lands wet side down on my couch.  Crap.

Primed.

Newly decorated couch.

   First words out of my mouth, "Weeeell, that was unfortunate."  And, indeed it was.  Primer does not come off of anything, even in the best of circumstances.  Jamie tried to get the spotbot on it, but it dried rather quickly.  I suppose we'll just have to artfully drape a throw blanket over that part of the couch when we go to show the house.  Everytime I look over there I can't help but to sigh balefully.  I mean do these things happen to other people, or is it just me?  But looking on the bright side I have been wanting some new furniture . . .

Fast Learner

  Of course as Moxi's doting owner I have to say she is extremely intelligent.  She is such a fast learner, sometimes, much to my dismay.  For instance, one morning Moxi learned how to pluck the keys off of my computer keyboard.  Then that afternoon she executed the what I refer to as the "Pluck and Run."   And that evening, she finished perfecting her escape technique by running in a zigzag pattern while I'm in hot pursuit screaming, "Drop it! Drop the 'J' key this instant!"  Then when I did catch the little mongrel she stoutly refused to turn over the key.  She had that 'J' firmly between her beak, with her two spindly little legs firmly planted, and she was NOT giving it up!  Thought it was going to take the Jaws of Life to get it out!  Never fear I did get the key back and popped it back into place on the keyboard.  Whew.
   So, since I got my new laptop (an awesome refurbed Asus, thanks Jamie for finding it!) by edict from Jamie, Moxi is no longer allowed to perch on the computer.  Nooooo problem.  We would never want to be guilty of breaking Jamie's 'One Rule' . . . .

She's merely looking for something she lost . . .

Bird on the run.

Moxi: "This never happened."

Moxi: "I was never here."

She's just so cute here!

I mean seriously can she get any cuter?

Insurance Woes - The Prequel

   O the stories I could tell . . . about a year and a half ago we had torrential rains and I had recently dug up my front yard area inadvertently funneling water toward the house.  So, our basement took on some water.  Naturally, I moved to file a claim with my insurance company . . . . and, naturally, it wasn't covered.  That would've been fine I understand that, but it took the insurance adjuster nearly three days to come out and survey the damage just to tell me, and meanwhile I have standing water in the corner of my basement.  Not only that, but in the course of me asking the adjuster to come out sooner (as in ASAP) he lied to me. 
   At the beginning of the convo he tells me that the people ahead of me had their appointments in the books for several weeks.  When I scoffed and asked him if they could not then wait a few more days he changed his story.  He said these were homes that flooded in that same heavy rain and they just filed ahead of me . . . riiiight.  When I asked him just how it was that they knew their homes were going to flood that they could make an appointment w/ him several days in advance . . . he stuttered, backtracked, stuttered some more and then started in on what I like to call "The Insurance Two-Step" (not invented by, but most certainly perfected by Nationwide) when I hung up on him. 
   At this point I don't care who pays for it, I just want my basement back.  And I have to say that having insurance with a nationally known and recognized insurance carrier I pay top dollar premiums for top dollar service i.e. in the event of a freak heavy rain, having an adjuster come out QUICKLY, and which last time I checked did not include lying.  Grrr. 
   To top it all off I filed a complaint with Nationwide about the lying adjuster and the delay.  The phone operator took my complaint, asking me a couple of questions and said, "Thank you for your imput.  We will look into this matter, and be back in touch with you in two business days."  I kid you not they called me back a month and a half later.  The guy gave me alllllll kinds of excuses, apologized profusely, but in actuality did nothing about the lying little weasel. 
   The gentleman made the comment that he had listened to the recording of my complaint, and was citing a couple of random things I said.  For instance, he decided to dilligently defend the fact that the adjuster's voicemail greeting was annoying, seriously?  Finally, after losing several minutes of my life to this looooong phone conversation that was in the fast lane to no where I cut him off saying:
"Wait, wait . . . didn't you just say you listened to the recording?"
"Well, uh, yes ma'am.  I did -"
"Could you tell me, then, what the operator told me at the end of the phone call?"
"Well, I, uh, believe you were talking about .-"
"No, the very end, please."
"Uh . . . he said someone would contact you in two business days . . . "
"Really?  You're kidding!  Hah!  I, for the life of me, thought he said two weeks!  And yet here it is six weeks later - that's gotta be some kinda record in horrible service.  I mean you're calling me back weeks late about a complaint I made for 'inattentive' service.  Bahaha!  You know I didn't think it was possible, but Nationwide, you continue to underwhelm me.  I believe this conversation is over - good day." Click.

Insurance Woes

This week I call to inquire as to my insurance coverage. A tree has fallen on my house and I would like it removed as quickly as possible - why do I have such high hopes?

Agent: "Call a tree guy and get an estimate. Here's a name."

Called that tree guy - took a day to call me back just to say he doesn't do that anymore. Called the tree guy he recommended. He doesn't call me back. Finally I google'd somebody. He gets right over the next morning.

Me: "Called the tree guy. Here's the estimate. What's covered?"
Agent: "Blah, blah, blah. Some about a tornado ten years ago . . . blah, blah, blah -"
Me: "No, I just need to know what's covered?"
Agent: "Blah, blah, blabbidy blah. Something about the great ice storm of '96. More blah."
Me: "Soooo, is this covered?"
Agent: "Well, yes and no. We'll have to get an 'approved' guy out there to look at it and give an estimate."
Me: "Another guy? You couldn't have told me that guy in the first place?"
Agent: "Blah, blah, blah."
Me: "Ugh, ok. Fine."
Approved Guy: "Yup, that's a tree . . . . and it is definitely on your house."
Me: "Estimate?"
Approved Guy: "Hard to say . . . . I'll have to get my tree guy out here . . . "
Me: "Get out."

   Needless to say it's Friday now, and I'm just a prayin my luck holds out and strong breeze doesn't come along this weekend and send this tree through my living room. I think I have 'em figured out - stall and annoy until I give up and just do it myself. O, tricky, tricky insurance companies - I'm on to you!

Tree.