Tales of waggin' tails, no tails, and tail feathers . . .

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Telemarketer Joe

   Don't you just hate those annoying telemarketer calls?  We used to have BellSouth's people calling morning, noon, and night trying to get us to switch from cable back to DSL internet (you know back in the dark ages). Of course we maintained a stolid wall of silence, i.e. we had caller i.d. and we never answered the phone.
   One day my roomie and I were both headed out the door when the phone started ringing. We exchange a look, I roll my eyes and go back to check the caller i.d. Sure enough, it was BellSouth. By this time I'd had enough. I picked up the phone:

Me: "HELLO."
Teleman: "Hi, My name is Joe and I'm calling on behalf of BellSouth and -"
Me: "Not interested. Please take us off of your calling list."
Joe: "Yes, ma'am. But if I could just have a moment of your time I -"
Me: "We're not interested. Please take us off of your calling list."
Joe: "I could do that for you if I could just have a moment -"
Me: "Uuugh." (He's a persistant little bugger!)
Joe: "Well, ma'am, if you would just take a moment to consider switching back to BellSouth DSL internet -"
Me: "We're not switching back. Now please take us OFF your calling list."
Joe: "May I ask why?"
Me: "Why? WHY? I dunno, maybe b/c of the bad service, the internet constantly cutting out, or the hidden fees! I could go on."
Joe: "Oh, but there are no hidden fees. Everything is up front and -"
Me: "No hidden fees? Joe, BellSouth is practically French for hidden fees!"
Joe: "This month we are running a special promotion -"
Me: "We're not switching! Stop calling!"  (I may be starting to loose it at this point . . .)
Joe: "May I ask if you have any other reasons for-"
Me: "Yeah, I'm screwing the cable guy!!!"  (Ok, I've lost it.)
Joe: (Choking sound) "I . . . uh . . .well . . .pardon me?"
Me: "You heard me. I said I'm screwing the cable guy. So, really there's really no better 'promotion' you can offer me now is there? Not to mention the serious damper it would put on our 'relationship' if I switched back to DSL."
Joe: (Laughingly) "Uh . . . I see . . . " (more choking laughter) "Well, if you're ever not getting what you need from cable, give us a call here at BellSouth. Good day." Click.
They never called again.

1 comment:

  1. JJ: (via facebook) You wrote that recent blog post for me didn't you?! I am so excited to be a witness to one of your blog stories! True story people! (I attempted to comment on the blog but apparent you can't do that on a blackberry)

    Amber: That was quick! I JUST posted. Haha! Yeah, I thought about you when I was writing it . . . I also thought about how mortified I was when you told your mother about it! Lol.

    JJ: I must be psychic! I just thought "hmmm I wonder if Amber has posted something today?" And BAM there was one of my favorite roommate stories of all time right there before my eyes. Ahhhhh good times, good times.